What is meant by Self-Love?
Discover what it means to truly love yourself
Discover what it means to truly love yourself
Self-love comes in all shapes and sizes. It can be a seemingly small act of choosing an apple over a packet of crisps, or it can be saving up for a luxury meditation retreat.
Self-love can be tangible, like going for a massage or a yoga class, but it can also be super intangible, such as not beating yourself up for making a mistake.
Boundaries are a great way to show yourself you mean business with your self-love journey. And much like general self-love, boundaries too, show up in very different ways.
At times, asserting your boundaries could look like leaving work on time, saying ‘no’ to something that doesn’t feel good, or letting a toxic relationship go.
Loving yourself looks like prioritising your own needs, sometimes in favour of others’ opinions of you, or at the risk of losing people in your life.
Self-love isn’t easy, it’s not fluffy bubble baths and sexy pics on the Gram. Self-Love is messy, hard work, and requires strong powers of discernment.
One day it looks like smashing out a gym session and eating a healthy salad, while the next day it looks like crying into your popcorn over a good rom-com.
Discernment comes into play by recognising that going hard at the gym a few times a week is an act of self-love, but doing it every single day without proper rest, is then moving away from self-love and into self-punishment.
Likewise, a rom-com crying sesh is an often over-looked act of self-love, but spending a week crying into several bags of popcorn and watching non-stop Netflix, is more like self-sabotage than self-love.
Once I had reached a certain point on my self-love journey, I started to notice changes occurring in my perspectives, behaviors, desires and outlooks. This was how I knew that I had really developed a strong foundation of love towards myself.
I now use these as markers, as pillars, to know if I am on track with my self-love, or if I have fallen off the path and need to step up my game.
When I loved myself enough, I started saying ‘no’ to things that made me feel uncomfortable, or simply because I didn’t want to.
I started resting more without feeling guilty about it. I chose quality over quantity and would spend more money on one good item instead of loads of cheap sh*t.
I realised that I was listening to myself more and honouring my own needs. I no longer waited until my pain was unbearable before I addressed it, I was proactive about my health and wellbeing instead of reactive.
I stopped looking externally for answers and began looking internally. I stopped seeking other people’s approval and started seeking my own.
I stopped shrinking and making myself small, and I started taking up space, and asserting my boundaries. I acknowledged my strengths and began to celebrate myself instead of letting my wins slip by unnoticed.
I gave myself permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, and f*ck up. I stopped settling for less and started creating a better life for myself. I stopped waiting for someone else to fix me, and I rescued my own damn self!
To see a full list of these, read my blog ‘When I loved myself enough…’
My invitation to you, is to spend some time reflecting on these journal prompts.
As self-love is very subjective, getting clear on your own definition will help you understand what it means to you on a deeper more personal level, putting to one side my definition, or that of the internet in general.
Likewise, making note of some specific examples of how you will know when you’ve established a strong foundation, will support you in knowing you’re on the right track and give you confidence and motivation to keep going.
Your Journal Prompts:
What does self-love mean to you?
How will you know when you’ve got there?
Set yourself up for success
To create as powerful a journalling experience as possible, it can help to sit somewhere quiet, and comfortable where you won’t be disturbed. Pop on some relaxing music, light some candles, and take a few deep, conscious, breaths beforehand to clear your mind.
It’s also good to note that writing by hand has been proven to create a more powerful experience than typing on a laptop, mobile, or other electronic devices.
Sharing is caring!
Once you have got clear on what self-love means to you and how you will know when you’ve got there, I would love it if you shared your findings in the comments below! This will support those who might be struggling, to get even more inspiration for their own definition.